It is surprising that most celebrities, particularly those in the entertainment industry are not in any way keying into the legacy of marital crisis management bequeathed to us by our forefathers. Rather, some are wont to literarily run to social media platforms to ventilate their frustrations and to seek advice. “Seek advice from social media space?” You might have asked.
There is no denying the fact that misunderstanding between married couples is unavoidable as it is paradoxically the underlying force that drives any relationship, and thus brings about change and transformation within the relationship.
Misunderstanding is expected in any marriage; no matter how perfect the couples are, as life is a journey that is usually embarked on with a partner. In fact, marriage is full of communications, expectations, adjustments and identifications. It is one milestone of life, where one chooses a partner, with a new role and new expectations. Marriage is the coming together of two totally different individuals as husband and wife who agree to plan and set up their own family. It is commonly viewed as a union between an adult male and an adult female.
Without doubt, marriage offer wonderful benefits for well-being, life satisfaction, and stress management, but none are without their challenges. These issues can put a strain on a couple, but working through them can either strengthen their bond or push them apart, depending on how they handle the challenges they face. Irrespective of the statuses of couples whose marriage is visibly shaky, issues that are usually faced cut across money problems, issues with children, daily Stress that can sometimes deny either of the couples his or her conjugal rights, busy schedules, poor communication and bad habits, and in some cases overbearing meddling from close relatives of either of the couples.
At this juncture, it is expedient to say that before westernized method of resolving marital crisis in the courts became popular that indigenous Nigerian society had its own traditional methods and mechanisms of preventing, managing and resolving marital conflict. It is not an exaggeration to say that these ideas were well-entrenched in the traditions, customs, norms and taboos of a great number of traditional societies across the length and breadth of Nigeria, and it remains a way of life among all the tribes and ethnic groups, as it were. As a people, Nigerian traditional societies have not lost the capacity to co-exist peacefully, to commune together, to respect one another, to negotiate, to forgive and to reconcile in resolving their conflicts, particularly when it comes to connubial issues.
Against the foregoing backdrop, it is surprising that most celebrities, particularly those in the entertainment industry are not in any way keying into the legacy of marital crisis management bequeathed to us by our forefathers. Rather, some are wont to literarily run to social media platforms to ventilate their frustrations and to seek advice. “Seek advice from social media space?” You might have asked.
Unfortunately, not few Nigerians are averse to couples airing their issues on such platforms. Yes, sometimes people want to hear out other opinions, but most people don’t even give real advice on social media. In fact, not few Nigerians are of the opinion that marital issues should not be shared online or on social media platforms as it tantamount to washing dirty linens on the proverbial market square. It also brings divorce because, after disgracing themselves online, they may not be able to live together again.
In the same vein, many people believe taking marital issues to social media platforms is immaturity and confusion of the highest order, because marital issues are meant to be personal and confidential, and should be handled with wisdom through God’s grace. In fact, not few people were of the view that if our ancestors were opportune to have experienced the social media, they could not have resorted to wash their dirty linens on social media platforms as they have their own way of handling marital crises.
Now the question: “Is it chancy to take matrimonial issues to social media platform?” Yes, it is chancy. First, the anonymity that comes with online platforms is very dangerous with cases of cyber-bullying and public shaming that it is not advisable for anyone to bring his or her marriage to such platforms.
If somebody shares story that borders on his or her marital challenges, and if such person don’t have tight privacy settings, anybody could either praise or bash him or her. And once the bashing begins, there is this primitive and savage mob mentality that comes into play, where everyone jumps in on the harsh words, the insults, and the name-calling. The power that social media has given to initially voiceless individuals has been abused way too many times, as the repercussions for “speaking your mind” are minimal to none because you can’t punish somebody over the Internet very easily.
In addition, some of these individuals use aliases and other pictures to identify themselves, so it is hard to track them down if they are cyber-bullying. Finally, social media makes it so easy to just delete your account before people can reprimand you for your actions, so there is often no just punishment in instances of online abuse. There are many individuals whose lives have been ruined because of these public shaming events. They have lost their jobs, their marriages, their respectability, and their dignity. So, it is inadvisable for couples to start sharing issues that relate to their shaky, or rather troubled marriages on social media platforms. Finally, with new posts going viral more quickly, it would only take a couple of hours before a crazy story circulates the Internet and almost everyone knows about it.
But alas! Not few celebrities in the country, particularly those in the entertainment industry seems to take pride in washing the dirty linens of their matrimonial lives on social media platforms. This is even as the platforms have collectively remained a ghoulish interactive space to be as mob mentality thrives on any of the platforms subscribed to.
Be that as it may, it is not an exaggeration to say that the last few weeks have not been the best of times for some fans in the entertainment industry their unarguably shaky marriages became hot topics on virtually all social media platforms.
First controversy to get to the public square through the internet is that of Nigerian singer Paul Okoye aka Rude Boy, who was reported to be facing divorce from his wife, Anita Okoye.
While music fans were ostensibly waiting for the dust that emanated from the Okoye marital controversy to settle, another dust was literarily raised to stain the social media space as the seemingly perfect marriage between legendary singer, Innocent 2Baba Idibia and Annie, which was solemnized in 2012 appeared to be showing some cracks. This is if the Instagram story posted by Annie Idibia, which has since been deleted, is anything to go by.
In her story, she accused 2Baba of sleeping under the same roof with Pero, who is one of the mothers of his children (Baby Mama), in the U.S.
Closely sprawling the marital bogs which the Okoyes and Idibias are embroiled in are related controversial marital issues emanating from Comedian and broadcaster Chinedu Ani Emmanuel, popularly known as Nedu of Wazobia FM, whose ex-wife, Uzoamaka Ohiri, accused of being domestically violent. It would be recalled that Ohiri took to her Instagram Stories on Friday, September 4, 2021, where she accused the OAP of assaulting her, few weeks after she had a caesarean operation.
Ordinarily, one would not have bothered to express this view when there are other pressing issues that are of national relevance to opinionate about. However, given the fact that the trio in this context are unarguably celebrities, and by no means in the position to vicariously shape the lifestyles of vulnerable youths, and to some extent shape their destinies, it is expedient that the issues cannot be left to lie low on the public space.
At this juncture, it is germane to ask, “Could it not have been more decorous to take these matrimonial to family courts instead of virally disseminating them on social media platforms?
There is no denying the fact that family courts could have been the most appropriate places for this highly respected celebrities to go in the bid of amending the obvious cracks in their marriages.
For the sake of clarity, Family Court is “A court that hears cases involving children, especially pertaining to parental rights and obligations, as well as certain other cases concerning marital and family relations. Also called domestic relations court.”
If one may ask, “Does it mean that our celebrities, who are mostly graduates in various field of human endeavor are not aware of Family Courts in Nigeria, particularly in Lagos? Again, “Are Social Media Platforms Now Celebrities’ Family Courts?
Isaac Asabor
